I have a cold :(

So far, it's been ok. I've been sad, crying, thinking but oh well I guess. I've been missing my dad, Feisali, Halima and mother. I miss them too much; now to the extent I can burst into tears throughout the middle of the day. I have a bad record of managing stress, usually I result in doing something that I will regret but sometimes I can think of them and how I'm going to see them on the weekend and stop myself. They are in Africa for another month. Apart from dad he's leaving Africa tomorrow. I'm so excited but at the same time I worried about what he'll say. Through out the time he was gone I ended up in hospital. Last time when he came back from Africa he claimed to be disappointed of me and it broke me down.  I don't want this year to be the same.

School has been great, I started my singing lessons today. So far no detention, no lateness and all homework. I'm proud. I'm struggling in some senses but most of it so far has been pretty straightforward. I'm supposed to be doing homework but I will do it, I'll have to bring it downstairs since there is something actually really interesting on TV. I know you shouldn't do your homework in front of the TV but then again as long as it gets done I wouldn't worry about it. Singing lessons were amazing, I'm not used to it it's kind of scary. I'm used to singing and warming up in a group or perhaps by myself in a room. Not on my own in front of someone. It was so straightforward, I was so scared that I was going to do something wrong but I felt fine. As usual I chickened out on the high notes but I don't push myself in front of people but then again I have to remember she's there to help. 

Have I mentioned I have a crush? Well for me it's fairly normal until it comes to that depressing side. You know? He'll never want me, I'm ugly, I don't deserve him etc. I shouldn't even be worrying about boys, not at 14 but it's all part of this wonderful generation.  Well I've had more than one, I wonder why he stands out the most, I fell for his personality, looks was a bonus, he's nice, he's funny, he's caring and he probably would never go out with me. How do people have types? Like what kind of types? Does he have a type? I haven't I just go with the flow and whoever catches my attention keeps my attention. I guess with this time it's him, I'm not announcing his name on the internet though. I guess he makes me feel happy but at the same time that whole thing just depresses me. I just can't see it, I can love him and meet up with him all I want but he wouldn't fall for me. I practically repel boys.

Tomorrow I have Performing Arts. I haven't even brought my homework down. I do have a while left to do it but taking chances isn't always the best way to go. Random fact: I love the taste of cough mixture.

I love writing, I get to chance the subject as many times as I want and no one complains. I seem to write like I talk accept my writing is slightly more accurate than talking. People don't like it when I change the subject but I can't help it after all it's in my nature.

Anyway going back to homework and TV shall update soon :P