Well, what's been going on? A lot honestly. Trying to stay clean from self harm and the rest. Had a fairly stressful week. I should probably try to use the weekend to my advantage. I'm currently listening to music and chilling out in the living room. The weather has now currently took a turn for the worst, now I've actually realized how I wasted the majority of good weather and now am suffering the consequences of the typical shitty weather of Britain. Everything may possibly be getting back on track but I guess only time will tell considering this time last week I could barely stand up only since I was under the influence of alcohol which probably decreases my level of responsibility but then again I am 14 so I don't see why people have such high expectations. But then again I did kind of go against the law but not like it's the first time. Anyway enough said.
For a start me and Shania went to an amazing concert at Thekla. We went to see Heather Peace and it was actually hilarious, I had a great night as well as Shania. The only thing I regret is wearing a skirt considering I was freezing half to death and the wind wasn't really in my favour, well our favour considering I forced Shania into wearing a dress which she admittedly looked gorgeous in but she has no idea how pretty she actually is. I still have a massive crush on Crystal and we are also good friends as are Shania and Crystal. I'm not going to go into my current situation but it is kind of on a personal level and I don't think either of them would appreciate me ranting on about them on the internet even though I kind of already have.
I need to write more songs... My target for the end of the year was 100 and I've only just got past 70. I've currently been disowned by my dad for my little Halloween which I recall as last Friday. I have been disowned simply since I got drunk therefore disappointed my father such a great deal he now refuses to have anything to do with me which is pleasant. My bad for getting drunk but it just adds to my long list of life experiences and also possibly future regrets. I don't have many regrets since I'm learning to process things a bit better which I am terrible but again it can't hurt to try. I wonder if today I'll actually be trying to get to sleep because I'm actually tired and rather not because I'm going through a tough time and can't process it. For the record suicidal thoughts or just feeling suicidal in general. Literally it's quite annoying when you hate the sound of your breathing when you actually can't help it and how you get up in the morning and wished you didn't or even go to sleep and not want to wake up. But hey ho I guess it's life. I'm not really sure how I can refer to it as that considering it's not enjoyable living it but I guess I kind of have to make do.
I'm actually getting tired but I don't want to go to sleep at this time since it's quite early for me and it's a Friday night. Me going to bed at this time is fairly sad. But I am actually quite tired so I might actually go to sleep or just go upstairs because I have nothing better to do.
Later.
For a start me and Shania went to an amazing concert at Thekla. We went to see Heather Peace and it was actually hilarious, I had a great night as well as Shania. The only thing I regret is wearing a skirt considering I was freezing half to death and the wind wasn't really in my favour, well our favour considering I forced Shania into wearing a dress which she admittedly looked gorgeous in but she has no idea how pretty she actually is. I still have a massive crush on Crystal and we are also good friends as are Shania and Crystal. I'm not going to go into my current situation but it is kind of on a personal level and I don't think either of them would appreciate me ranting on about them on the internet even though I kind of already have.
I need to write more songs... My target for the end of the year was 100 and I've only just got past 70. I've currently been disowned by my dad for my little Halloween which I recall as last Friday. I have been disowned simply since I got drunk therefore disappointed my father such a great deal he now refuses to have anything to do with me which is pleasant. My bad for getting drunk but it just adds to my long list of life experiences and also possibly future regrets. I don't have many regrets since I'm learning to process things a bit better which I am terrible but again it can't hurt to try. I wonder if today I'll actually be trying to get to sleep because I'm actually tired and rather not because I'm going through a tough time and can't process it. For the record suicidal thoughts or just feeling suicidal in general. Literally it's quite annoying when you hate the sound of your breathing when you actually can't help it and how you get up in the morning and wished you didn't or even go to sleep and not want to wake up. But hey ho I guess it's life. I'm not really sure how I can refer to it as that considering it's not enjoyable living it but I guess I kind of have to make do.
I'm actually getting tired but I don't want to go to sleep at this time since it's quite early for me and it's a Friday night. Me going to bed at this time is fairly sad. But I am actually quite tired so I might actually go to sleep or just go upstairs because I have nothing better to do.
Later.
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