I'm kind of having second thoughts about keeping this blog. It's kind of too personal I guess and if people find it I might be accused of seeking attention. I mean I guess people should say I have my own free will and can do what I wish with it and not have to worry about other people but I do.
See I can't do anything right, this would probably be used against me. I'm in a fairly sad mood I guess. I read the letter back from CAMHS it's fairly accurate but mistakes stick out like a sore thumb. For a start eating, it says, 'Leila reports that she usually eats breakfast and dinner each day but sometimes restricts her eating due to low self-esteem about her weight.' There is more but I'm not going to type that bit. The mistake is I don't I hate eating anyway. I don't eat breakfast and I try to avoid dinner. I'm constantly eating crap and I hate myself for it. I don't even know why but I'm going to exercise more anyway. Also another part, this isn't their fault but this is what came across to them, 'I have assessed the risk of further self harm to be high, but the risk of acts with suicidal intent to be low.' S.H is pretty much accurate, they honestly didn't think I was going to stop? Alternatives or none the real thing can't compare. I don't know my thoughts about self harm they're clouded over as well. I just know it can't compare. Suicidal intent, I've honestly been suicidal for the past week. Probably would've done something by now if it wasn't for mum locking away everything. So I guess it is right not accurate but right.
I don't know what to write now. Anyway I'm getting rid of this blog so yeah...
See I can't do anything right, this would probably be used against me. I'm in a fairly sad mood I guess. I read the letter back from CAMHS it's fairly accurate but mistakes stick out like a sore thumb. For a start eating, it says, 'Leila reports that she usually eats breakfast and dinner each day but sometimes restricts her eating due to low self-esteem about her weight.' There is more but I'm not going to type that bit. The mistake is I don't I hate eating anyway. I don't eat breakfast and I try to avoid dinner. I'm constantly eating crap and I hate myself for it. I don't even know why but I'm going to exercise more anyway. Also another part, this isn't their fault but this is what came across to them, 'I have assessed the risk of further self harm to be high, but the risk of acts with suicidal intent to be low.' S.H is pretty much accurate, they honestly didn't think I was going to stop? Alternatives or none the real thing can't compare. I don't know my thoughts about self harm they're clouded over as well. I just know it can't compare. Suicidal intent, I've honestly been suicidal for the past week. Probably would've done something by now if it wasn't for mum locking away everything. So I guess it is right not accurate but right.
I don't know what to write now. Anyway I'm getting rid of this blog so yeah...
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