Morning.

This week has possibly been one of the worst of my life but you probably already gathered that because of the majority of posts this week. Today I'm going to these rich people, they live in this mansion and well I've been invited there to sing. Great thing is I haven't even practiced. I have of course sang this week but I completely forgot until my brother burst into my room this morning telling me to wake up. I always ask why now. If someone tells me to get up I'm just like, "Why?" not as in a mean way kind of in a sleepy moany way. 

So I need to warm up because its 11:28am and I have to leave at 12:00. I'm not wearing anything special but now I have to be more aware of what I wear for personal reasons. I've been using Yahoo Answers a lot. One of my questions was, 'Ways to kill yourself, without fail?' I got like seven answers but now I think my question has been blocked which is understandable but it was serious. If I do attempt again I'm pretty sure I don't want to make it out alive. Don't want to think about that now since yesterday was a bad day and I guess today's kind of a new page. I'm just feeling depressed but not lazy like I usually am. I know going out is risky because of my problems but when it comes to singing I can be a total different person. There is no act just fun. I love singing, writing and reading. Well singing and writing more because they actually help. I've been doing both for a long time, before everything started so I still enjoy it. I'm supposed to be going to my dad's today as well but he has like heart problems and has to sleep with this machine. He's also been told he can't drive for two weeks. He's a taxi driver plus we don't live with him so this does create complications. I only witnessed him disobey this rule once. Well it was only when me and mum on the Wednesday were coming back from hospital and we didn't have enough money for the bus. Conveniently dad called us and told us to catch a bus to Downend where he would give us money to catch the bus from Downend back to home. We did have enough money to go to Downend so we did and I directed me and mum to his front door. We went in, spoke and then he basically said, "Fuck it." and he drove us home anyway. I was in a bad place at the time so it was for the best for me but for him not so good. 

I really have to practice singing now with the time I have left. You can find my singing on Youtube and keek. So if you want to hear me sing that's where you can find it. 

Later,

Leila